If you love someone, when's the right time to sleep with your partner? Should it be after a year of a steady relationship or after a month of having known your lover? Should you go all the way before you walk misty-eyed down the aisle or should it be after your love has been signed in ink and blessed by the church? Is sex, then, a gauge of love? Does love beget sex? Or sex begets love? Tough, huh? I know. Answers vary from what you believe in and stand for? beliefs and principles,which are influenced by your family, friends, and your environment. But with all these, it's you who should draw the line. Not some books.Not some traditions. Not them. But YOU.
True, time plays a significant role in a relationship. You'd get to know your partner's personality through the times you both spend together. But does a longer engagement enable you to know him that well? How about five years of long distance relationship? Would that weigh heavier than five months of constant conversation? Again, situation varies. Time here connotes not the number of years, but it insinuates the quality time you both have after disagreeing to incessantly agree with each other. Assuming you already know him, plus that honest feeling that you love him, should you give your all before saying the scratched line "I do"? Mmm, If you believe in sex as one of the thousand ways to express that vague, mushy feeling called "love", then "I do" agree with you. Love is so abstract? that's actually an underestimation. You ought to let that feeling known to your partner. You ought to concretize love through your actions. Sending romantic text messages through the airwaves is one act of love (a little bit pricey though). Compromises and sacrifices (but not being stupid) are also counted in. Patience and kindness (and among others) sighted in Corinthians 13 are brilliant signs that love is at work. And the list is endless. For so long as you honestly know you're making love with your partner,that's valid. But if you share the night with your boyfriend just to satisfy your oozing carnal desires and to explore your sexuality, that's another story. If you go around telling people you got down with your date since you already love him, but deep inside you know you were racing with your hormones, then, you're cheating yourself! You can fool others, but definitely not yourself. Now, if you had sex with your boyfriend and it turns out you're not meant to grow old together, should you regret those nights? Should you curse your boyfriend? Blame yourself? Question your fate? You should regret it if you let your hormones rule over your rational thinking.
You should blame yourself (not that nasty boyfriend) if you did it for experimentation. You should question your values (not fate) if you weren't honest about yourself. But if you gave your all to him believing he's special, tried to work the relationship out, and you realize you're both better off to say goodbye, then you shouldn't feel less of a person. If you don't end up with him,just be contented because you gave love and you were loved even just fora while. The genuine feelings that painted mem'ries in your heart will make you smile telling your grandkids, Ahh, that guy. Though we didn't end up together, I know we've shared some precious time. So, love expressed through sex before any eternal vows is not immoral.Yanking off every guy you meet and justifying that sexual activities by some im-only-human-bound-to-be-tempted reasons is immoral. Why? Sex is the ultimate act of trust. You just don't trust every hot, sexy guy you had dinner with. Regarding virginity as a gift to your husband, that man is one damn lucky guy! And I salute those who were able to chastise themselves until marriage. Just imagine this. You flash that triumphant smile as you wear that exquisitely designed pure white bridal gown, your proudIy-m-the-first-guy-to-touch-her partner eagerly waiting at the altar, and those impatient I-told-you-that-couple-is-really-meant-for-each-otherwell-wishers standing in every corner all make a near perfect wedding.Don't you think so? It does. It really does. But reality check? Saving yourself for that one true guy is not an assurance that he's going to stick around for as long as you both shall live. If you believe sharing your first night in some fancy island is a promise that he'll be yours until you both lose your teeth, you better wake up.
Virginity does not make up the totality of your being. And if that guy married you for that reason alone, then he's just one of the chauvinistic, egocentric, oh-so-loser guys! You see, when feelings turn cold, love warms it up not sex. When fights heat up, love calms it down not sex. When problems come, love finds a way not sex.
When things go wrong, love understands not sex. When hope is fading, love inspires not sex. When faith is waning, love trusts not sex. At the end of the day, love still prevails.